Once Upon a Time…

As I sit quietly in the eve of this New Year, I find myself terribly lost down an unfamiliar and terrifying rabbit hole. In the quiet of the dark, it is hitting me how even though our lives feel like a random sequence of odd events, it’s really NOT.  Each one of us is a living story. A living book to be exact. Whether it be a Fairy Tale, Mystery, Romance, or Fantasy, we are each characters simply living our stories out.

Mine is a Fantasy, filled with magick, mythical creatures, and a life-long mystical battle between good and evil. Grab a cup of tea, and I will tell you my story; and maybe you will feel like telling yours…

 

 

 

I was a warrior, a Goddess, a mermaid; and a weaver of the most incredible magick…My spells were perfect; born of my watery home and shaped with the purest of intentions.  I lived a life surrounded by magick and faeries, Kings, Queens and dragons. My world was my oyster, until my magick was taken from me, and I was imprisoned for the first time by the evil wizard, “GRIEF“.

 

 

Jealous of my abilities and terrified of my power, he used the only weapon that could pierce my spells and armor- death. As his captive, I spent years slowly withering in his suffocatingly dry dungeon; my chains forged by unfathomable pain and sorrow.  Just when I gave up hope completely, a Gypsy rescued me and brought me to her realm. It was vastly different from anything I knew. With time, and plenty of new magick, I began to feel alive once more, and once again I began to live and weave my magick spells.

 I was thriving…I was regaining my power and life was once again a beautiful existence…until I was captured yet again…

This time however, “GRIEF” didn’t allow me to simply slowly wither. This time, my life force was taken from me in an instant. My inner light instantly, and excruciatingly extinguished. My fate this time far worse than the last- I was left to dry up with full knowledge of every ticking moment. It was worse than simple death; for this was a living death. I was left as a shell in the sun, it’s occupant trapped inside. This time I knew there was no rescuer. I also knew there was not enough strength left in me to make it through again. This was to be my forever; until I simply wasn’t….

 

 

But that wasn’t how the story was to be written… Once again, somehow, I survived…and once again, began to THRIVE…

Apparently that was my mistake. Or at least it feels like it at the moment. Once again, I find myself captured by “GRIEF“! Will this cycle of escape and capture ever end?? Apparently not, until he succeeds in his plan to destroy me forever. His choice this time to leave me completely lost in a pitch dark world, void of light, sound, and any point of reference. To simply leave me to be lost forever…

I’ve been lost in this darkness for four months now. Although it feels far, far longer. As others are looking ahead to the new, I find myself hopelessly longing for what WAS. For WHERE I was. For WHO I was. THAT ME is the only one who has the strength to escape one more time

But, I’m slowly realizing there is no power or strength in looking behind and wishing for what was. My only option is to simply begin to put 1 foot in front of the other; even if it’s too dark to see where I am, or where I’m going.  Hour by hour, day by day. I have to somehow keep going, until I find my way back to the lighted world above. And strangely enough simply writing this down somehow feels like that very first step…

I have no idea what is out there, or how many trials await me. But, as I sit here in the quiet of the night, I am beginning to feel like maybe, just maybe, “I” AM still in here, despite the efforts of the evil wizard to try once again to destroy me. (maybe) I AM STILL a warrior, a Goddess, a mermaid and a VERY powerful witch. (maybe) I CAN BE FREE and no longer a captive. But more than that, I am beginning to see that I really am stronger than ever having survived my losses, my captures, and my imprisonments. My  past has broken, scarred, and changed me, but it hasn’t destroyed me – not yet. (Came dangerously close tho) I am choosing to walk into this new phase as the dragon tamer and magick maker I started out as.  I feel the pulse of change; a new adventure is ahead on my path, and once again, (I hope) magick is afoot…

 

 

 

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