Life in a Nautilus Shell

 

If you’ve been lucky enough to have read Anne Morrow Lindberg’s book, Gift From the Sea, you will relate to this article. Getting a quiet moment by the sea can be life changing; true healing can be found in every drop, and magick in every sea shell.

Transformation is such a profound gift…if you are looking for your own, I hope this inspires it…

As I sit quietly on a deserted beach in Carmel, Ca., listening to the waves crashing on the shore, I am stunned by the visual that is hitting me. As I find myself going deeper and deeper within, as the sound of the sea lulled me into a meditative state, I got the clearest vision I’ve gotten in ages. A perfect Nautilus shell.

As the picture gets clearer, I begin to realize I’ve spent the last 10 years lost in the spirals of the beautiful Nautilus I created for myself. With the devastating loss of my dad, I retreated into my shell. The outer world suddenly had little meaning. I was shattered to my very core. My world just stopped. I retreated further and further into the spirals; I got used to the quiet and safety of my beautiful prison. My shell was impenetrable to hurt and loss, and there I found peace. Meanwhile, life outside my shell kept moving forward. I learned after awhile how to peek out and perform the daily tasks of living, meanwhile keeping my heart and soul safely locked away deep in the spirals of my Nautilus shell.

As time marched on, and wounds began to heal, as they always do, I could spend more time peeking out further and further. I sort of forgot that lost in the recesses was my heart, soul, and inner light. As I got stronger, I started to allow thoughts of success and forward momentum into my consciousness. I even had epiphany moments about what I could have, that my life had a very special and unique purpose, and that I have incredible gifts to share with the world. I began cerebrally searching, planning, and looking for what would propel me forward. Frustrations built. Each accomplishment seemed to be outweighed by thoughts of fear, doubt, guilt, and “thats probably never going to be my reality anyway-look at my story so far”. I unintentionally, and unconsciously retreated back into the spirals of my Nautilus…

I’m not even sure exactly when it happened. I just suddenly found myself in that numbness of functioning. Years went by unnoticed, then, out of nowhere, as I sit in pure peace and quiet on my own little beach, I am hit with soul jarring clarity- you create your own reality. You don’t have to settle for just functioning. My heart and soul have been buried for a very long time. I’ve surrounded myself with a safe haven away from the harshness of pain and loss, and kept myself in the safest level of success: none. Well, I can truly say I’m finally ready to go down through the spirals, find my lost treasures, and once again bring them into the light of day. As beautiful as it is, I no longer need the safety of my Nautilus shell…

 

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